If those wacky gays get to redefine what has ALWAYS been a straight concept, then us straight folk need to fight back by redefining something of theirs. My suggestion: gay sex. As a heterosexual male, I never get to have gay sex. That's bullshit. I SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO ENGAGE IN GAY SEX WITH MY GIRLFRIEND. Just because we're not gay, that doesn't mean we shouldn't get to tell people that we have gay sex. I PROPOSE THAT ALL ANAL SEX NEEDS TO BE REDEFINED AS GAY SEX.

Sure, I could tell people that I have gay sex with my girlfriend, but it doesn't mean anything unless the definition of "gay sex" is changed. Telling people about our gay sex, without a redefinition, is like two homos in a "civil union" telling people they are married. Sure, it's PRETTY MUCH the same thing, but I need people to recognize that anal sex with my girlfriend is actually GAY SEX, just like the gays are having.

"BUT, WAIT! I'M NOT SURE IF GAY SEX IS THE SAME AS HETEROSEXUAL ANAL SEX! CAN YOU FURTHER CONVINCE ME?"

You're goddamn right I can. Anal sex is the only real sex that gays can even have. All lesbians can really do is a bunch of foreplay. Which seems about right. Any organ to organ penetration that can occur is anal sex. So it's pretty easy to rationalize referring to all butt sex as gay sex.