Tramp Stamps

Now, the idea of a Mark of Sluts sounds like a great idea, right? However, the problem is that not all of these chicks with so-called tramp stamps are actually tramps. This is cruel and misleading for men. I am thinking of ways that we could even further differentiate the real sluts from these poser "tramps". How are a bunch of confusing-ass segments of tangled ink called "tribal" supposed to help me determine your commitment to being a dirty little whore? It's not helping. I suggest that you cut to the chase and forgo those aforementioned complications in favor of a more direct message: Just tattoo some cum shots on your lower back. That's where they end up anyway. This way, the next time I'm unleashing my load on your back, I can get that gangbang feel without the anxious creep prodding me with a dick for his turn. And if I'm feeling extra frisky, I might just get so excited that I shoot my juice into a bowl with your name on it so I can watch you attempt to lap it up while I choke you from behind and scream German obscenities. It's all about making it easier for the tramp to tramp, you know?

However, the more I think about it, I am not sure if the cum shot tattoos are going to be sufficient enough for our beloved slut population. People simply need to know faster and easier that you're the kind of whore that doesn't want to give her vagina a breath. Maybe, now stick with me on this; maybe you get a dotted line tattooed around your entire waist. That way, you know where to start when you saw off your torso, and men will HAVE to know instantly that you're just a silly vagina with legs. Your brain will never be a burden again and you're guaranteed to lose weight.

"Ooooo, girl, you gonna be SO popular at the club this weekend!"

Fuck it. Use the blood for lubricant.