There's no point to cleaning your fucking car unless you're trying to get laid. Like I give a shit if my drunk friends comment on how I need to clean my car. It's the princess little hos that think a clean car is somehow indicative of how good of a mate you are. Whatever, bitch. Then you're going to get all angry and defensive when I suggest you douche your cock-hole a little more often? Get off your high horse and help yourself to some of the french fries and ketchup so CONVENIENTLY scattered around the passenger seat. See, it's just plain practical, you hypocritical cunt.
That's no way to start a relationship anyway. Misleading a slut like that. If you end up keeping her around, it's just means that your dumbass committed to her perception that you give a goddamn about cleanliness. Now you're fucked. NOW you gotta keep that shit up or SHE'S going to think that YOU DON'T CARE anymore. Unbeknownst to this classy ho, you never cared in the first place and have simply just forgotten to pretend to care. Oof! Next thing you know, she's looking for a guy who "ACTUALLY CARES" about her and you have to start thinking of where to dispose of her body. Look at the fine mess you've gotten yourself into. MORE CLEANING UP.
My point is: admit that you're a worthless slob from the get-go. It might not get you laid, but you'll have a lot less body-disposal stress down the line. Part of the joy of being a bachelor is not giving a shit about what women think. I've learned to appreciate this only after being in a years-long living-together nag-torture GODDAMN-I-AM-SO-BORED-WHY-THE-FUCK-ARE-YOU-READING-A-BOOK-YOU-SILLY-BITCH situation. Their thought patterns are too complicated with shit that I simply have no desire to care about. It's too much work trying to understand how they come up with such ridiculous statements or questions. Stop asking me STUPID questions!
"Do you always have to masturbate while you drive?"
I'm not sure, bitch, but I have a feeling we will all be long dead before I start thinking about it...
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